Making Headway
I find it hard to write with Brendan in the house. I’m too accustomed to having the place to myself during “work hours”. So I’d pretty much written off the past two weeks. He’s got the time off work, may as well forget about writing for the duration.
It turns out the laptop wasn’t such a frivolous idea after all. Last night I took it out into the living room and tapped out a rough draft of my opening chapter (it’s been through a lot of iterations but this one is the last). All that with Brendan sitting in the corner, yelling at his computer.
All I need to do now is flesh it out and write 30-some more and voilà! A book!
Starting Over
After my short break from writing I’ve returned with a great deal more perspective. I’ve found it’s important to do that from time to time. Otherwise I just end up banging my head against the same brick wall over and over again. Every time I return it’s with a new sense of purpose and direction.
I’d reached a point in my editing where I realised none of my options were places I wanted to go. I didn’t know quite how or why it had happened so I couldn’t find a way out. (So really all of my distractions came at the perfect time.) If I was to push forward I needed to find a way around that little problem.
I have a problem, you see. I absolutely crave the approval of others and my craving requires instant gratification. I need people to see what I write and adore it. In order to achieve that I took the story I was writing, diluted it and ran it through a filter of what I hoped people would want to read. I tried to make sure it wasn’t offensive in any way. And what I ended up with was a joke. What I should have done was worry about my own opinion. I’m the one who has to go through and edit it and polish it and edit it some more. If it’s not the story I want to read, what’s going to motivate me to keep at it?
So here’s where I’m at. I’m throwing away (metaphorically) the first draft and starting over. I’m doing it my way. I’m not going to let anyone see what I’ve written because the second I do that I’ll return to my old habit. It’s going to be my little secret until I’m happy with what I have. Once I’m happy with it, then probably others will be too.
Nobody ever said being a writer would be easy. Now I know why.